Frust! So What?

Very often, as young people - we pen down out thoughts and feelings. Without a doubt, we do that in Facebook, Friendster, blog, MSN etc etc. It's out freedom to write what we want without society scrutiny. Reason being we have to behave in a socially accepted manner in work and outside (well at home too!). And often things get very frustrationg. At least I get frustrated. I hate all those rules and what not. Worst of all, I'm getting more frust as I am moving soon. There's high tension at home coz there's a whole lot more to be done than you can ever imagine. Plus, there's also another part of my live that's pretty upside down so I'm getting worked-up in some other aspect of my live.

My story is this: as I'm getting increasingly annoyed with my surroundings, I just write "=.= frust frust frust!" in the comment box of my gmail chat. Then when I get in my boss's office for him to sign stuffs, he said to me, "Why frust? You said in your gmail frust. Don't get frustrated." so I said, "Well, I'm moving soon and there's a lot to be done. I'm just getting a bit frustrated with things." To which he replied, "Don't get frust because of that. A lot of people don't have homes to live." Wow that moment, something surge inside me. I really want to ask him, "Right, if that's the case why don't you donate 50% of your money to the homeless and build houses for them instead of buying a villa that costs you millions? And don't you know that amount of money can do more use to society than your own comfort?" See, if you think you are SO into society and all, just go ahead and do it. Don't lecture me coz you don't have the right. Who are you again? I forgot.





Good thing I held my tongue but he got so irritatingly naggy and kept stressing "don't frust because of things like this". In the back of my head, I'm like - well I guess he doesn't know he's part of the reason I'm getting frust. And heck, it didn't help with that attitude. Right, what I'm saying is that, don't talk to someone like you know them. He doesn't know my situation at home and what happens, so don't talk like you DO. Get me? It gets annoyingly irritating when someone speaks as though they are the GURU that understand everybody's family situation and we gotta listen to your preachings. Get a life and stay out of mine.



I hate busybodies... No, if you're a friend, I'm more than happy to listen or get comments from you. It's just that when an outsider cross the line, it's not funny anymore. It's trespassing on your privacy.

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Lampe Berger Still on the Go?

I couldn't believe this... in a random conversation, my colleague said in the morning that she'll be going to KL tonight - with her father to listen to some sort of "ceramah". So me and another colleague was like, Oh, ok... that's cool. Then the matter was dismissed.





Next thing I know, during lunch she brought up the topic again. But this time, in a different context. She asked if we ever heard of "Lampe Berger" in a hesitating manner (I think she couldn't decide whether to share it with us or not, or whether we have ever heard of it). And then it just clicked instantly in my head. So that "ceramah" was the LB talk?





I proceed to tell her that I heard of it, and as a matter of fact, I had been to their office. The beautiful and calm environment, the scent that brainwashes you and the expensive products on display. It all came back to me. To be honest, during my college - 2nd year, I was casually talking to a classmate whom I'm not close to. Perhaps that was why it's easier to talk to him. And he took the opportunity to recruit me... at first I didn't really understand what he says coz he refused to be elaborate. He kept insisting that I visit his office and the consultants will explain in detailed. And so I did. Due to the fact I was afraid to go alone (I'm a girl after all and I don't know him that well), I dragged along a close friend.





Both of us opened our eyes to the beautiful exterior of the place.

Then a consultant came along to talk to us. He then proceeds to explain their scheme/ business. But what got me was that we need to pay RM2000+ as a "fee" to gain entry to the group and that the money was actually to purchase the lamps and oils. If you don't use it, how do you know how to sell/ promote it? I'll agree with that for now - but I don't agree with PAYING for it.

I was a naive student, unexposed to something like that. I didn't know. I thought like, 2k? What the hell man, I can withdraw it from a savings my parents had for me. And I did request from my mum, much to her dismay. I was scolded and shouted at, yet I insist on the money. Still, my mum saw through it and refused to help me... I was devastated and resort to borrowing the money from 2 friends. Both agreed to lend me but they don't have much idea on what I was gonna do with it.

A friend got the better of me. She is a close friend to the guy who introduced me to LB. She called me one day and asked how are things going on - coz she knew I went with him to LB office. I said I wanted to do it, and that I can earn money. She sounded hesitant, and said it's not that she's against it or something but consider about it again. I said I can't coz they told me the "membership fee" is going on hike in a few days' time... if I don't cough up the money soon, I'll be paying extra few hundred juz coz I sign-up late (obviously this is a tactic that I didn't see thru then).

She told me, "Think about it again... you are paying the amount to buy something like that. Do you even need it? And how are you going to recruit people? It's not easy you know... don't you think it's like doing sales which you don't like?"

I think the last question struck me. It hit me hard at that time. But I rejected it... I managed to save myself before I drown into it. Later on I found out that quite a number of my classmates/ seniors actually knew about LB coz they guy tried to recruit them. He even lost a number of good friends due to his persistence that they couldn't take. He skipped many classes and failed several papers in his exams thus had to re- take them... all due to the concentration on his "side business". I think when he looks back someday, he's gonna realize that he'd lost more "things" than money could buy.

See, when you think about it RATIONALLY, you are paying RM2k as a "membership fee" for something you don't even need. Then you are expected to RECRUIT about 5 people to be able to earn some commission. And imagine "consulting", pestering, influencing, persuading, forcing your friends, relatives, family members, colleagues, classmates, school mates or even strangers to cough up the same amount so that you can cover back your wasted 2k. Best of all, you expect them to recruit summore people so they could help fill your pocket. How does that make you feel? I guess you'll say it's a win-win situation coz both of you are earning. NO. Look closer. What happens when you couldn't get the 5 people?

Sure, there's no time limit or whatsoever but don't you feel guilty? You know they don't need the products... Yet you involve them into it - thinking when the 5 members each recruit summore people, more money's going into your pocket without you needing to do anything. Sure, they said the products are good, recognized, cure diseases etc but is there any credibility? Who can prove that it works? If it's SO GOOD, why are other countries like Taiwan etc are banning LB? Give me sound reasons. And what's with the LB cured SARS? If it did, it would get MAXIMUM EXPOSURE throughout the world. And everyone would be LETHAL/ IMMUNE to it as long as they have the LB lamp/ oil. U gonna buy that?

More people on the boat is equivalent to more victims in need of help. In the LB office, they introduce me to "high rank officers" who are so-called 'successful'... and these people will strengthen the idea that you can really reach that (their) stage if you work hard.

Hell man, after I realize my mistake, I don't buy that idea anymore. I truly believes that a GENUINE business does not require their staffs/ employees etc to dig out a single cent (unless you're really buying from the comp). So see, who profit from this whole thing? Those at the top of course. You think you will pull through to the top? Know you place...

This is a WAKE-UP call.

Wake up before it's too late.

I hope that before joining the scheme, RESEARCH the company. No, not the good stuffs, but what negatives that people talks about. Read BOTH the good and the bad then make a judgment - on what you think is best. UNDERSTAND the nature of the business/ what you are bound to do once you joined. Seek other OPINIONS from people around you... you'll never know if they can give you some good advice/ insights. If you still can't come through with a conclusion and your friend "pesters" you to go for the "ceramah", get another friend with a strong foothold/ against LB to go with you and you'll see for yourself how they counter argue the points. Thing is, if you go alone or with someone who supports LB, you're bound to join them.

Perhaps if you're bloody rich, 2k's not a prob and you can waste it... but for some, that's hard earned money and they can't afford to live without it. Worse thing is, the scheme allows the "members" to cut queue by paying abt 30k to rise to a higher position (instead of recruiting more members). So what is this? Buying a position with MONEY? Is that ethical? Why is it even permissible?

I'm not interested to get any hate-mails/ comments from LB die-hard fan. Say what you want but truth is that there are people who suffered from this scheme, especially those who lost money for buying what they DON'T NEED/ WANT. I feel for them. Do check Steven Yip's blog for more exposure/ explanation on LB.

http://antilampeberger.blogspot.com

As for my colleague, I sincerely hope she won't dwell into it. I have no power to stop her, but I've already told her my experience and gave her some antiLB sites to look into, but in the end it's all her choice. LB's got great staffs to brainwash others. They are influential people who master the art of persuasion. So if you have a friend who's anti-LB, headstrong, loud, has a drop-dead NO-NO principle + nothing in this world could shake his/ her belief (in another word, stubborn lol) - around you, bring him/ her/ them along to LB office if you consider joining. That friend might actually save your ass.

Don't take my words for granted.
If you do, I won't feel sorry for you.

Angst

I'm full of angst when I'm frustrated... who doesn't? You do too, don't you? I cry a lot when I'm sad or when I'm really frustrated. When I cry, I let go of my emotions as I'm not used to bottling it up. I'm not strong emotionally though I wish I am.

But no, now I'm not only disappointed, angry and fed-up - I'm disgusted. Disgusted with some men who do not know their limits. I hate men's gut and disloyal. Do they even have any conscience on what they are doing? I have seen cases of boyfriend with 2 gfs - of course, both the girls do not know the existence of each other. Yet there are b*tches who knew but do not mind. What are those feather-brained bitches doing?

Do she not know they are breaking the couple apart? Or does she not know she's tearing a family (for married couples) into pieces? You definitely cannot clap with 1 hand. You need 2 to do so. Get what I mean? Sure you do.

1 sole thing that greatly pains a woman is her partner's infidelity. It hurts even more than being abused physically and verbally.

No, it's not happening to me but someone around me. I'm feeling her pain of the suspicions she built up. What can I do? I'm really tempted to hire a private investigator to help her. It's during times like these that I felt glad to be single. I don't trust men. They can lie through their teeth. And I hope those who were unfaithful to their partner/ spouse rot in hell. I guess they have no idea what the woman went through. Trust? Flush it down the toilet.

She's strong and I know she's trying to comfort herself that it may not be what she suspected. Or she may be expecting the worst. Which, I don't know. But one thing's for sure - I do hope she would go through anything quick and painless. If she couldn't find space to forgive him for what he did, I'd gladly stand by her throughout all she had to put through.

No, don't beg the other party to give you back your partner. Especially married couples, since the f*cking bitch wants him so desperately that she don't care if he's married, do ask the bitch to JUZ KEEP THE SOB.

Men who did you infidelity once might commit it again and for someone like me, I'd dump him immediately if I find out. No, I don't give a damn to anything he says as they are called EXCUSES. If you get tired of me, or you don't like me, or you find I'm boring, or any other reasons, state for a break-up then pursue another woman. If you don't, you're one hell of a SOB. For men who are unfaithful, they should be punished so severely that they wished they're born as a woman... ;) ne?

Karaoke? Neway throught the NIGHT!

Just last month, a friend from Singapore came for a short "break" in Malaysia. It was a pretty enjoyable one, as we're looking forward to get-together. What I wanna say would be on Friday night, we went to Neway for karaoke. It was around 9pm... we wander around KL, no idea what to eat. But when you mention karaoke, it MUST be Neway. Redbox & Greenbox is OK, it's just that Neway's food is definitely much nicer. So we were at Neway's reception. It's gonna cost us RM55++ per person for the buffett dinner, and the buffett line closes at 10pm! We have another 3o minutes to go! After one glance at the food, our hungry selves got the better of us and we just go along with it.

Me and Singaporean friend, Hui Yi - went and grabbed the food while Mei Theng (local) pick her songs. I forgot how many rounds we went in and out (then later I sit in the room while the other two grab summore fud), but I believe we didn't stop until 10!!! That was that. And no one bother to sing coz everyone's STARVING already!

After about half an hour, we started singing. It was fun. We didn't stop until it was 1.45am!!! Neway told us "officially" our time will be up at 12.30am, but if we wish to continue and that one requires a room, they will allow us to continue. This is madness. I have never sang so long in a karoke before, and have never sang till wee hours in the morning.

By the time we paid up, went to ladies, walk towards car park - it's already 2am. And we went to the wrong floor in search for MT's car. I really panicked inside. There's no one around and its freaky in the car park. Yeah, I watched P2 if you havent... and you ought to. It'll give you an insight on not to leave alone in the middle of the night. Even if there were 3 of us, we are not match for a group of people. What's gonna happen if some hooligan targets us? While we went up to the "right" floor where MT's car is parked, I was about to push the emergency door when someone (from the other side) pulled it. I jumped. I was shocked and I was scared. What if it IS a group of naughty youngsters? Lo and Behold, it was a handsome boy. And I mean it. Dunno bout you but he's surely my type ;)

Okay, it was a little OOT but I was relieved. I'd rather bump into a GHOST than any human being, especially if it had to be the opposite sex. You'll never know what happened. and NO WAY AM I GONNA TELL THIS TO MY MUM! She's gonna lecture me for one whole MONTH! It's because I was overnight at MT's house what she didn't find out!!!

Should I scream "LUCKY!" to that? lol... anyway I'm a coward too, so I don't really dare to go back in the middle of night where there's not a soul around :D

Philosophy of life? Sure not.

Do you believe that when one minute you're so happy and full with joy, and that the next minute you'll be weeping in sorrow?

I believe that.

Perhaps that's the ups & downs of life? and that's how we appreciate the good times we had and remember the sad times that fall upon us? Things happen in the family sumtimes and it's not within our control. As the kids, who are we to tell parents what to do?

And worse things await outside sumtimes. I often wonder - what's the purpose of life after you went through all the trials? Are they supposed to make you strong? So what if it did, and so what if it didn't? We'll still have to die. It didn't make us immortal.

And I hate it when I'm emotional. And I AM EMOTIONAL. I have family burden to carry at the back of my head, and my work's not making it any easier. Sure, no OT etc is good and I appreciate that. But you sure won't be happy when you have a fickle-minded superior. One minute it's this, and the next is sumthing else. One minute he'll say, "Okay, I'll do my own arrangement" and the next he'll be screaming for me to do it. And there's just tooooooooooooo many last minute things. Last minute changes, last minute booking, last minute cancellation, last minute confirmation, last minute request. Anything else?

Yes, I wonder how many times I repeated the same things? Yet it's as though I didn't inform at all and the question kept coming back to me. The message didn't go through, too bad. Transmission failed. Communication breakdown. Words not noted. Then, a friend informed him and I received a call that goes: bla bla bla bla bla did you know that bla bla bla bla bla. It was the same thing that I tried to send across for a whole week. Apparently the message must be sent by another recipient, not me. Maybe I encrypted the message and he couldn't decipher it.

You want cheap cheap cheap hotel last minute? Sure, I'll look for you. But make sure don't complain you see hookers here and there. That's why they are called "cheap".

So in the end, the lesson is this: even if your boss says he wants a cheap hotel, get him a 5-star hotel.






Argh damn. It's so embarrassing today - I can't control myself. Angry thoughts just flowed into me. And I became frustrated. It's all bottled up and about to burst.





I really want to leave, and I mean it. I don't enjoy my work (except marketing-related?) I don't like my position and I despise the admin job as well as misc job that I was asked to do. I know, I complain a lot like a bitch. Who doesn't?

Much as I hate to wear a mask, I do when needed. And the mask eventually shattered when I lose my temper. Easily lol. The saying, "Customer is always right" goes for all service. When you employ it to workplace, it'd go as "BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT". I tend to be too bold for people's liking sumtimes.

I have a terrible temper, and there was once when I was so frustrated, I actually messed up my bedroom. I broke a few things. But that was many years ago... I find it troublesome because you'll have to clean your own sh*t afterwards (meaning clean your own mess). Bygones are bygones... even so, I'm sure there are times when you find it hard to forgive or get things back the way they used to be. When I'm not in the mood, then I'm not in the mood. Sh*t happens, and life goes on till you're dead. Then life continues for the others.



I hate my current self and my temper. I think it's time to mend this terrible habit and start taking Yoga classes.

FairyTale Syndrome

Do you have the Fairy Tale Syndrome?

Well it's not a disease actually... more like an illusion. Very commonly - girls have them. Thanks to Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty & The Beast etc etc that we read/ watch as kids. Also thanks to disney that most girls used to think that they have a prince charming. Alright, I used to wonder about that when I was young. Sure, say you found your prince charming - but is he as charming as you think?




I read in this magazine, which elaborates that most girls had this 'Fairy Tale' Syndrome. They expect guys (or the ones they are currently dating) to be prefect like Prince Charming in Fairy Tales. Please, such a person do not even exist in the first place. If he did, he might have been dead by now.

There was this interesting Korean drama that I watched - Soulmate. In one particular scene the actress in the film said, "I wonder what happened to Cinderella after she married Prince Charming... maybe her life didn't change." Another answered, "Maybe she had to deal with an irritating mother-in-law. And it'll be worse if the Prince had an affair with someone else!" A third lady joined in, "Yeah, and her ugly step-mother would definitely not let her gain happiness. She'll be extorting money from Cinderella, or perhaps something worse!"


I laughed hard. I mean, how many of us actually dwell further into the fairy tales when it's long over? and heck, so many speculations and drama!


Again, realistic, aren't we? It's all good.


Hey you know what? I play around with Photobucket today and it's so fun! I think I'm so out in terms of decorating the photos but hehe did this:



Okay you may not think it's nice but I'm juz experimenting with it. K, going back 2 work.

Ja!